Dinner with the Mayor

I wish I had a picture of the two of us to post here... but alas, none were taken.  So you'll have to take my word for it about the evening!

My husband and I were invited to dinner by Reverend Dr. Calvin O. Butts, III, who is the senior pastor at Abyssinian Baptist Church in the City of New York, and is also the President of the State University of New York College at Old Westbury.  As the senior rabbi of Congregation Emanu-El of the City of New York, Josh reached out to Dr. Butts to begin a relationship-- which resulted in our invitation by him and his wife to the President's House at SUNY Old Westbury, along with Mayor Bloomberg, his longtime partner, and four other guests, to dinner last week.  Reverend Butts is also going to be speaking at Emanu-El on the Friday night of Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend (I will be at Westchester Reform Temple that night celebrating the weekend with the pastor and choir from our neighboring Great Centennial AME Zion Church in Mt. Vernon, NY).

The Reverend and his wife were incredibly gracious, and the dinner intimate and lively.  We spoke about many topics-- the city mayoral election, Citi bikes, the Mayor's plans for the future after his term ends January 1st (vacation, then taking the presidency of a consortium of the largest cities in the world), a new city golf course in the Bronx, business policy, the Mayor's daughters' love of horseback riding, and the meaning of the shofar.  My husband brought Dr. Butts a shofar as a gift.

A very exciting evening, and a late night-- we got home after midnight, very late for us since having our girls!!  I read the paper for weeks before attending the dinner, and even polled my Facebook friends for possible conversation topics beforehand.  I didn't need to worry, as the Mayor was loquacious and other guests asked him many questions.  I would say that I spoke little, smiled a lot, and tried not to engage in conversation topics I knew very little about.  The Mayor is probably one of the smartest people I've met, warm, engaging, and incredibly knowledgeable.  I got the sense that his leadership of the city the past twelve years, including many of his more controversial initiatives, come from Jewish values and a love for the people of New York City, with a vision toward the future that eludes many today.

Since I had my girls, I often complain that I used to be smart.  Pregnancy brain has faded somewhat... but not entirely.  My brain can only tackle so much at once, and with two children, not to mention a career, the amount of brain space left for current events and miscellany has decreased substantially.  Evolutionarily I believe this makes sense, as I must care for my own children and their many needs, if they are to survive and thrive.  However, this can make dinner parties a challenge!!  So I suppose it makes sense that when I did speak to the dinner party, it was about my girls, and a bit about my work.

Mayor Bloomberg asked me how our family has adjusted to living in the great city of New York.  My response: how lovely it has been to go to Central Park with Mikaela after nursery school with her new friends and their moms, how much I enjoy the walking and ease of everything.  I told him about Lena's "Top Ten list of things she DOES like about New York," and tried not to offend him too much that she'd rather still live in the suburbs.  He even chuckled that her favorites are the American Girl Doll Place, hot dog stands, and the Lipstick Building on 3rd Ave.  He wondered if she knew who used to work there!  (Bernie Madof...).  When we left at the end of the evening, he told me that if he ever needed a cantor in Westchester he would call me.  :)

Reading together

According to her teachers, Lena has been reading since sometime in Kindergarten.  At her conferences, they told me her reading group, and I knew she was writing some because I saw the work coming home.  But would she read for me?  NO.  nothing.  Not a street sign, not a word from her books.

Last year at our suburban public school, Lena had packets of homework every week.  Mostly handwriting, some cut and paste syllable, vocabulary type worksheets.  At 5, she had little interest in doing any of the homework, procrastinated and took a terribly long time doing it, and generally fighting with Mommy over getting it done.  (I ended up delegating homework supervision to our au pair... worked beautifully, just like having the au pair potty train my girls did!  Sometimes it's easier not to have the power struggle). 

I didn't think the kind of homework that Lena was getting last year was developmentally appropriate.  Why should my 5 year old be spending after school time doing workshe
ets and handwriting sheets when she'd just spent the last six hours doing the same thing?  She needed to move, to play, to RELAX.  To be with her sister with no plans (note sister cuteness in the matching picture in this blog!)

This year, at our NYC private Jewish day school, the first graders just got their first homework assignment (no homework in kindergarten there).  Every night, the kids are to read with their parents.  Book is up to us-- who reads is up to us-- but we just have to participate, and sign that we read every night.  The kids pick the book, write the title on their sheet, and decide on a WOW word (from what I can ascertain, this is just a word that they like??).  Lena and her friend from her class were SO EXCITED to begin their homework, reading together and discussing what their WOW words would be.  I worried that I would have to battle Lena to get her to read to me.  Then...

Mikaela was in bed and Lena pulled out a book and decided to read to her.  So sweet.  The book she picked was simple, with mostly the same words on each page, with just a few changing.  She figured out the new words on each page and read out loud to both of us, remembering to show her little sister the pictures as she finished each page.  I'm looking forward to her homework now each night.   And Lena loves her assignments too.  Isn't this what being 6-years-old is about?? 

Sharing Shabbat

Last fall I began my leadership of Sharing Shabbat at Westchester Reform Temple-- a Saturday morning family Shabbat service/ religious school/ adult parallel learning experience.  Following in the footsteps of cantorial greats such as Ellen Dreskin, Angela Buchdahl, and Dan Sklar, I now lead this group of Saturday regulars who come casually, snuggling with their kids, to pray and learn each week. What a privilege!

Of course I also bring my kids with me whenever I can-- Lena sometimes brings a chair right next to the pulpit so she can sit with her mommy too, just like everyone else does.  I do my best to watch her/ give her hugs when I can while also leading the service.  Multi-tasking in the extreme!  When Mikaela comes also I have my au pair with me or dedicated teenagers for them--two would be too much to manage and also lead with any intention.  I love that my girls know the prayer melodies, I love that they have temple friends they look forward to seeing each Saturday.  I know their favorite part is the oneg (food after the service), but that's okay with me too.

This past Saturday night we had a Sharing Shabbat adults-only havdalah and dinner.  As I introduced my husband to people (he also leads services on Saturday mornings and can't come with us to Sharing Shabbat) I realized how long I have known many of the people there.  Four of us were together in a toddler class years ago with our now 1st graders.  I named a few of the children, and had discussed with many of the adults their professions and outside interests.  How lovely it was to reconnect with these friends and begin to get to know some new people too, all without children pulling on us during the oneg time!

These type of connections with people are what drives my work as a cantor.  I hope to infuse people's lives with connections to Judaism, to each other in holy community, and through that to the Eternal.  

If you live in Westchester, whether or not you currently belong to Westchester Reform Temple or to Sharing Shabbat, join us with your family any Saturday morning at 9am in the Center for Jewish Life (pictured).  We all look forward to welcoming you!!