Some thoughts "early" holidays

The end of the holiday cycle is here...  Sukkot's 8th day (if you celebrate the extra day)/ Simchat Torah.  And now, SHABBAT!

So much has been said of the calendar this year.  Most people in shock that Rosh Hashanah began the Wednesday after Labor Day.  And, upcoming in November-- Thanksgiv-ukkah.  The first night of Hannukah and Thanksgiving happening the same day.  Apparently the only time in history that this could possibly happen.  We're going to have deep fried turkey nuggets for the girls!  But that's another blog to come.

For us clergy, the early holidays require some earlier prep, but I find them to be slightly easier than "late" holidays (of course, Rosh Hashanah always come "on time"- on the 1st day of the Hebrew month of Tishrei!).  When holidays are early, we are spared what I had last year, which was the opening day of Sharing Shabbat, in an orchard, with no microphone, the day before singing before a couple thousand congregants in a white robe.  The opening days of  Sharing Shabbat this year are mercifully after the holidays have completed, allowing me to focus my energies on one at a time.

The more interesting part of these holidays though, are the days of the week on which they fall.  Wednesday night-Thursday Rosh Hashanah = Shabbat Yom Kippur (longer liturgy... reading the red "Szechuan menu" sections too).  But it also = Wed night/ Thursday Sukkot and Wed night/ Thursday Simchat Torah.  + Friday night/ Saturday Shabbat.  And for conservative Jews out there, that's chag (holiday) for 4 days in a row... 3 times in one month.  And for day school parents like us, very little school for our kids. 

Sorry for all the math, don't lose me here...

Four days in a row of holidays/ shabbat can be amazing-- cessation from work, lots of time at synagogue... (it can be slightly overwhelming for people leading services).  Also it makes getting into a routine and getting work done hard for all o
f us.  How can we get work done if we don't email multiple days in the week and not just on Shabbat?  And do we, in the New York area, need to put an away message up for Shabbat and holidays?  Or do people not expect emails back, even tho they send them, on these holy days?  What does it mean for us to rest on the holidays and Shabbat given the busy lives we lead today?

Last night we went with friends to the Park Avenue Synagogue in Manhattan with the girls to celebrate Simchat Torah.  The music was loud, rhythmic, fun-- the Hakafot (processions with the Torah) celebratory, and the room was packed with kids.  Halfway through blue and white balloons even fell from the ceiling!  I kvelled to see Mikaela kissing the Torah as each one passed.  And I enjoyed meeting new people and seeing old friends there.  We sat as a family (very rare for us) and celebrated the joy of the holiday.  Was it restful?  Not so much.  But hopefully my girls will remember the ruach (spirit) and the family togetherness inside the balagan (craziness) of Simchat Torah and this time of year in general. 

Next week begins the Hebrew month of Cheshvan.  Looking forward to some quiet and full weeks of school for my kids!

Can the tooth fairy get past our doorman?

Ah, the tooth fairy!!  No, we don't believe in Santa Claus in our house... but the tooth fairy remains part of the reality of our family's life.  Lena is in first grade now, and has lost a total of 7 teeth. The previous six had been in Armonk, where the tooth fairy faithfully came during the night and replaced a precious baby tooth with a few dollar bills.  Well, faithfully except for that night that Mommy and Daddy forgot to leave the door unlocked and the tooth fairy couldn't come in!!  When we discovered our mistake in the morning (big whoops...) Mommy and Daddy were very upset with the tooth fairy, until we found a letter for Lena from her in the mailbox!!!  She came and took the tooth the next night.  Tooth fairy perseveres! 

 This past week Lena came home from school with a tooth necklace around her neck, and prepared a letter for the tooth fairy and put the necklace under her pillow.  Though exhausted, she tossed and turned until around 9pm.  I asked her what was wrong, and she said she didn't think that the doorman downstairs would let the tooth fairy up to our apartment!  She wouldn't be able to get in to take Lena's tooth that evening!!  So what did Mommy do?  I called the doorman of course and gave permission for him to let in the tooth fairy that night up to our apartment!  Soon Lena fell fast asleep, comforted that all would be well, and when she awoke she had a hand-written letter from the tooth fairy and a few dollars.  Phew!  I guess we can figure anything out in the city?

This sweet evening caused many smiles amongst my family and friends-- sweet Lena, still believing in the tooth fairy, and anxious about her new surroundings and if the tooth fairy could find her/ be let into the building!  It got me thinking about the power of belief and faith in our lives.  We ask our children to believe in all sorts of things-- the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, that the princesses in Disney World are really the same ones in the animated movies-- while often having trouble believing in much ourselves.  Do we ask them to believe in God?  What is the God that we want them to believe in like?  And how can we translate what we believe (or don't believe) about God to something understandable to the trusting little people in our lives. 

Similes and metaphors can help-- God is like love-- you can't see love, but you sure can feel it and know it's there.  God is also like the wind, invisible to us but clear in its effects on the world.  Just like the wind moves the trees, God moves good people in the world to make the world a better place.

Sometimes also just being a loving, consistent presence in your child's life tho can help them with belief.  They believe in YOU and your love and faith in them.  That belief goes a long way into creating a wonderful, loving human being.

I'm baaaaaack... some thoughts about our move to NYC

Hi everyone,
   I'm back to blogging.  It's been a while.  I know.  I'm sorry.  S'licha!!!!!  Things have been very busy for me and my family.
    At the beginning of March, my husband was offered the position of Senior Rabbi of Congregation Emanu-El of the City of New York, an amazing opportunity for him and our whole family.  He accepted and we began our transition into New York City from the suburbs.  The transition involved a lot of getting rid of things-- selling two cars, furniture and smaller items (thank you Facebook and Chappaqua Moms Sales!), saying goodbye to schools and friends, and particularly to our house and suburban lifestyle.  In August, I took the girls for our final farewell to our old house.  I don't think Lena understood until that point that we were actually moving... FOREVER, as in, not going back to that house soon.  So, being a cantor, we had a little ceremony of goodbye.
    I took the girls through the empty house, saying goodbye to their empty rooms, the play room, etc.  After they had the experience of seeing everything all gone, we gathered together in the kitchen, and each of us thought of something wonderful that happened in the house, and something we wish we could leave behind with the old house.  For me-- I remembered the happy times with friends over, and the sad times when Lena was so sick in that house.  The girls shared their remembrances and we said a final thank you and goodbye.
   As we drove over to a neighborhood friend's house for a play date (since we're not that far away we actually see our good friends still... which is a terrific thing for all of us), Lena began to cry and scream.  "I DON'T WANT TO MOVE TO NYC!!!  I WANT TO LIVE HERE!!!  I WANT TO GO TO MY OLD SCHOOL!"  and so on and so on.  It wasn't until we said goodbye that the reality hit.  She's still dealing with stress of the move but thankfully is starting to adjust to our city life (more on that another time).
    Transitions in life are hard.  For adults, who understand it-- and I think ever more so for children who have no say in the matter.  Rituals-- this one that we did in the old house-- that confront the reality of a situation, can help.  At least help children understand what's going on.  When we all slept in the apartment for the first time we also said a prayer, the Shehecheyanu prayer, which thanks God for bringing us to this moment in our lives.
   So, now that we are settled and our first High Holy Days are behind us, I will be updating this blog often, sharing my ideas about balance, parenting, Jewish values...  tune in!
xoxo,
Cantor Mia