I was so good... why did I get "punished" with a bad teacher this year?

I have to thank someone fabulous for this story about elementary school class placement.

Rachel** asked her mom:  "I was so good... why didn't I get the teacher I wanted?  Another girl who's always mean to her mom and isn't nice to the other kids, she got the teacher I wanted!!"  Rachel hugged her mom and broke into tears at the unfairness of it all.  The mom hesitated, not sure how to respond at first, but thought of something I think brilliant to say.  She told her daughter how the school thinks these things through very carefully, and that the other girl must have a strong need for this particular teacher-- that maybe the teacher would show her how to treat other people nicely, even her mom.  Rachel, already a terrific kid who knows these skills, would get something different from the other teacher.  The school had a grand plan worked out so that each student would have a growing experience with a teacher who would meet their particular needs.  And actually, Rachel's teacher is good, and the girls in her class would be terrific classmates and play mates for her!

I thought the mom's response was brilliant-- teaching her daughter that things work out even though sometimes it's not how we want them to right away.  And that things aren't exactly how they may seem when we first find out about them.  The other girl obviously needs to grow and learn how to be a good person-- so she was given an opportunity that Rachel wanted but didn't need.

Rachel felt like she was being unfairly punished, I think.  She had been a "good girl" so she should get the teacher she wants, right??  It was totally unfair!!  My short response (not as thoughtful as the mom's for sure) would have been "life's not fair!!  You've got to learn that at some point."

This got me thinking about fairness generally in the world.  After Lena's diagnosis, I could not believe how unfair it was.  My daughter is this sweet, innocent, "very good" girl, who completely doesn't deserve the "punishment" of life with rheumatoid arthritis.  In the real world outside of elementary school class placement and even B'nai mitzvah date assignments, things happen rather randomly.  That's not to say that I don't believe in God, I just don't believe that God controls which child gets a disease and which child doesn't depending on any kind of moral value of the kid or his/her parents.  God is there for us, supporting and comforting us as we handle things that befall us in our lives.  The God I believe in is a good, loving God-- not one who micromanages my life and the life of my family.  The choices I make are mine (free will!!). And whatever genes/ environmental factors that caused Lena's arthritis weren't controlled by God.

I'll leave the micromanaging to my school district.  And know that whatever kindergarten class Lena's in will be a great one for her because they take every child's needs into consideration and place them with the perfect teacher...  or just because she'll be fine regardless.  :)

** name changed