Friday, June 15, 2012

A cantor in yoga


I missed doing my blog last week, sorry about that.  I also missed teaching my Tuesday b’nai mitzvah students… sorry to them too!  Got that dreaded call from your babysitter with the kid screaming in the background.  My little one (my healthy child!!!) fell on a ride-on toy down the stairs at a friend’s house, needs to go to the ER to make sure all okay.  So much for work that day, and my sanity the rest of the week! 

The next day, before taking her to the ophthalmologist (all’s okay, just a bad bump and black eye, see pic), I managed to sneak in a run outside.  As I ran, I thought to myself, “wow Mia, this has been an interesting 6 months.”  Lena’s diagnosis, not to mention my dad’s cancer/ kidney failure, now Mikaela’s fall and various other stresses.  It’s amazing that I’m holding it all together.  Becoming a mom has made me stronger than I thought possible (cue the Kelly Clarkson in the background…)

But seriously, I’m not sure how I’ve kept my head.  I was trying to figure this out while running, then I realized that it WAS the exercise that has been helping me.  I’ve been practicing yoga for a little over a year at Sage Yoga in Armonk, as well as doing various cardio workouts like running, spinning, whatever, and trying to eat healthy food.  I may have little control over what happens health-wise to my kids, but I CAN control how I treat my own body.  And I have definitely felt the benefits of all the exercise, beyond feeling fairly prepared for bathing suit season this summer.

The body is a holy vessel, and the miracles of the body working are celebrated every morning in our liturgy.  The prayer asher yatzar speaks of how God formed the human body with skill, with pathways and openings, and that if any one of these were to malfunction, we’d be unable to live anymore.  The nisim b’chol yom (daily miracles) list the wonders we feel at awakening to physical life.  At our WRT clergy retreat yesterday, one of our new Rabbis, Marcus Burstein, led us in a physical practice of these daily miracles, using some yoga poses and some creative movements inspired by the theme of each blessing.  Sharing Shabbat families… can’t wait to share this kavannah with you in the coming year.


Practicing yoga has definitely been a growing experience for me.  I feel much more aware of how I move (I can even tell right from left now… most of the time), and I’m physically much stronger, more flexible, and I stand up straighter.  As a cantor, it’s been interesting for me to experience a new “spiritual” practice as well.  With all the Sanskrit names and chanting, I felt completely lost, giving me some insight into how non-Hebrew speakers may feel when the enter a synagogue for the first time.  This past week my teacher led a healing practice for her son who had unfortunately received a bad diagnosis.  We prayed for him by going through 25 sun salutations for his 25th birthday the next day.  The meditation left me sore and emotional—at the same moment we were doing this my dad, who’s 75, was getting a chemotherapy treatment.  And my daughter, who’s 5, was having a rough day with her arthritis.  The practice seemed made for all of their healing, for the son we all held in our hearts and also my family members.  But how different from what kind of healing prayers I’m used to!!!   I’m still processing how to apply this to my Cantorate.  Ideas/ comments welcome of course!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Spark of the divine in all of us

I wanted to post this picture Lena drew of herself a few months ago.  The first image is how she felt when her arthritis was active.  The second image is how she feels now.  Our rheumatologist has this drawing hanging in her office to show other kids with arthritis.  :)  Lena has been such a trooper through everything, having the best attitude and never complaining (well at least since she started her immuno-suppressive therapy and can move again).  We are very proud of her and also very happy and relieved that she feels like the 2nd image that she drew.

A side note:  we'd just had a fabulous trip to Disney when she drew this picture, hence the Minnie Mouse ears and bow I think.

Being a parent involves so much more than I thought before becoming a mom.  Today we had Lena's special services meeting with our school district team to determine services for next year.  The meeting went really well in my opinion.  I consider myself lucky that we live in the Byram Hills school district and Lena will be cared for as well as she will be next year.

The meeting required numerous "pre-meetings," evaluations, discussions, etc, as any parent with a kid who receives services will know.  It can also be extremely emotional.  One mom I know confided in me that her husband cries at these meetings for their child every year.  I can understand why.  When you have a child your heart somehow lives outside your body!  And then to hear all the committee members discussing him or her and the deficits/ problems they have... it's incredibly hard.  There's also the line you want to walk with getting your child the services they need vs. letting them be as unrestricted and mainstreamed as possible.  Where that line is can be hard for everyone to agree on.  And then there's the difficulty that you have to label your child as a kid with a "disability".  Complicated on all fronts I think, though in Lena's case her services have more to do with supporting her physical development (not academic) and ability to navigate the school safely.

The Torah teaches us, in part of the "Holiness Code:"  "You shall not insult the deaf, or place a stumbling block before the blind.  You shall fear your God:  I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:14).  I see this verse relating to how all of us treat other children with special needs.  I'm incredibly proud of Lena in how she has befriended kids of all sorts in preschool.  She has a friend who has some delays, and she told me that he doesn't talk very much so "it's okay, I just give him lots of hugs instead."  This I believe is part of Lena's character intrinsically, but it's also part of the Jewish values that we teach her.  People come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities.  All of us have a bit of God inside of us, and everyone deserves love, respect, and the ability to grow and thrive.  It's my hope that all of us, no matter in what circumstances we live, embrace the differences in the people around us, and let that spark of the divine in all of us shine forth.